1. Why did the Netflix subscriber break up with their remote control?
It couldn’t commit to just one show, always swiping left or right.
2. My doctor told me I needed more exercise, but I told him I already do plenty. I mean, have you ever binge- watched a whole series on Netflix?
3. Netflix should add a “Are you still watching?” option for when you’ve watched an entire season in one sitting and feel personally attacked.
4. My favorite exercise routine is watching Netflix while trying to find
the TV remote. It’s a real workout!
5. I tried to start a Netflix support group,
but everyone just canceled their meetings.
6. You know you’re obsessed with Netflix when you try to give a movie review in real life by saying, “I’d give this conversation a solid 4.5 stars.”
7. I’m not saying I’m lazy, but I just finished a Netflix series and felt accomplished like I climbed Mount Everest.
8. If Netflix doubled as a dating app, my profile would read,
“Looking for someone to Netflix and chill with, literally.”
9. Netflix should have a “Skip Intro” button for life,
so we can just fast forward to the good parts.
10. I asked my friend what he wants to do with his life, and he said he wants to be a Netflix series so that people will binge-watch him too.