1. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator.
3. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
4. What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
5. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
6. I used to play piano by ear,
but now I use my hands.
7. I’m reading a book on the history of glue.
I just can’t seem to put it down.
8. Did you hear about the restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu – you just get what you deserve.
9. Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired.
10. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.