1. Why did the lawyer cross the road?
To get to the other courthouse.
2. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t know the law?
A defendant.
3. Why did the lawyer wear two watches?
To bill his clients for double the time.
4. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company.
5. What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.
6. How can you tell if a lawyer is lying?
Their lips are moving.
7. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The vulture doesn’t get frequent flyer miles.
8. Why don’t sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
9. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One is a scum-sucking bottom feeder, and the other is a fish.
10. What do you call a lawyer who knows the law inside and out?
Unemployed.