1. Why did the lawyer cross the road?
To get to the courthouse on the other side.
2. How many lawyer jokes are there?
Only three. The rest are all true stories.
3. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
4. Why don’t sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
5. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t know the law?
A judge.
6. How do you make a lawyer smile for a photo?
Just say “fees”.
7. Why did the lawyer go to bed?
He wanted to pass the bar.
8. What’s the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it go away faster, but still takes all your money.
9. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
Their lips are moving.
10. What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a demon?
Someone who charges you an arm and a leg, and then takes your soul as well.