1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field – unlike my social skills.
2. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
Turns out, ears are terrible at hitting the right keys.
3. I asked the computer for a joke, and it replied, “Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.” I guess I’ll just stick to debugging my life.
4. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She seemed surprised.
5. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
6. Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems.
7. Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
8. Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired.
9. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
Then I wonder why my diet isn’t working.
10. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
So now I’m a banker – still no dough,
but at least I have a better suit.