1. Why did the politician go to art school?
Because he wanted to learn how to draw new districts!
2. How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they’re too busy trying to change the Constitution.
3. Why did the politician sit on the clock during the campaign?
He wanted to be on “face-time” all the time!
4. Why was the politician’s belt arrested?
It held up too many promises!
5. What’s a politician’s favorite part of a joke?
The punchline they can blame on the previous administration!
6. Why don’t politicians play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding when you’re always running for office!
7. Why did the politician bring a ladder to the election?
Because he heard the polls were high!
8. Why did the politician bring a mirror to the debate?
So he could practice his ‘reflective’ listening!
9. Why don’t politicians ever tell secrets on the phone?
Because they’re afraid of getting “wire-tapped”!
10. What do you call a group of politicians stuck in an elevator?
A perfect opportunity for bipartisan cooperation…
or a potential sequel to “House of Cards”!