1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
2. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
3. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
4. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
5. I’m on a whiskey diet.
I’ve lost three days already.
6. I told my computer I needed a break. Now it won’t stop sending me
“Ctrl+Alt+Del.”
7. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
8. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
9. I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
10. Parallel lines have so much in common.
It’s a shame they’ll never meet.