Pandemic Puns and Social Distancing Shenanigans: A Quarantine Comedy Special


1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
    Because he was outstanding in his field… of social distancing!

2. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She gave me a hug.

3. How do you organize a space party?
    You planet!

4. My dog told me a joke about quarantine…
     but it was a bit “ruff” around the edges.

5. Why did the math book look sad?
    Because it had too many problems.

6. I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
    She whispered, “They’re right behind you!”

7. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
    It’s impossible to put down!

8. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
    Because they make up everything!

9. I started a band called 999 Megabytes.
    We haven’t gotten a gig yet.

10. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
     They don’t have the guts!