1. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
2. I told my wife she should embrace her
mistakes… She gave me a hug.
3. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
4. I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
5. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
6. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
Because it was two-tired.
7. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
8. Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
9. I’m on a whiskey diet.
I’ve lost three days already.
10. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!