1. Why don’t politicians ever get lost?
Because no matter where they go, they always end up in the middle of a scandal.
2. Why did the politician bring a ladder to the bar?
Because he heard the drinks were on the house.
3. What’s a politician’s favorite exercise?
Jumping to conclusions.
4. Why did the politician stay up all night?
To read the Constitution. He heard it’s full of loopholes.
5. How do you keep a politician from cheating on their diet?
Lock up all the pork barrels.
6. Why did the politician go to the doctor?
He had a bad case of election fever.
7. What’s a politician’s favorite type of music?
Campaign-paign songs.
8. Why did the politician cross the road?
To get to the other bribe.
9. What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig?
The letter “F.”
10. How can you tell if a politician is lying?
Their lips are moving.