1. Why did the scarecrow win an award during quarantine?
Because he was outstanding in his field… even with social distancing!
2. I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.
She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
3. You know you’re bored when you start organizing your snacks by
color and shape… Welcome to the quarantine rainbow diet!
4. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo.
I had to put my foot down.
5. I’m starting a new workout routine during quarantine.
It’s called “running out of snacks so I have to run to the store.”
6. My dog is the only one not complaining about quarantine. He’s living his best life: endless treats, constant belly rubs, and all his humans are always home.
7. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything… including conspiracy theories about quarantine.
8. Remember when we used to cough to cover up a fart? Now we’re farting to cover up a cough… Quarantine has truly flipped everything!
9. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
10. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing…
and realized it would be stuck in quarantine forever!