1. Why don’t politicians ever play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding one who isn’t already hiding something!
2. Why did the politician bring a ladder to the election?
Because he heard the polls were up!
3. Did you hear about the politician who went to the doctor complaining of a stiff neck? Turns out he was just dodging questions.
4. Why did the politician go to art school?
Because he heard it’s a great place to learn how to draw new district lines!
5. How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two—one to change it and another to change it back when the polls show people preferred the old one.
6. Why don’t politicians ever make good DJs?
Because they always promise to drop the beat, but all they do is drop polls!
7. Why did the politician get in trouble with his bank?
He kept trying to filibuster the overdraft fees!
8. Why did the politician bring a map to the debate?
Because he wanted to navigate his way around the tough questions!
9. Did you hear about the politician who tried to balance the budget on a seesaw?
He just kept going up and down, never finding the right balance!
10. Why don’t politicians ever play poker?
Because they’re always trying to avoid showing their hand,
especially when it comes to their true intentions!