1. Why don’t politicians ever get sick?
Because they’ve mastered the art of avoiding healthcare debates!
2. Why did the scarecrow get elected?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
3. How do you catch a corrupt politician?
Bait them with a big bag of money labeled “campaign donations.”
4. Why did the politician go to the dentist?
To get some “campaign plaque” removed!
5. Why did the politician break up with their GPS?
Because it kept trying to redirect them to the center!
6. Why don’t politicians ever get lost?
They always follow the polls!
7. What do you call a politician who goes on vacation?
An absentee ballot!
8. Why did the politician cross the road?
To filibuster on the other side!
9. Why don’t politicians ever play hide and seek?
Because good luck finding one who keeps their promises!
10. Why don’t politicians ever watch the Olympics?
Because they already excel in backflips and double-talk!
11. How do politicians stay cool during a debate?
They just fake chill!
12. What did one politician say to the other during a heated argument?
“Let’s table this and take it outside for a vote!”
13. Why did the politician carry a ladder with them everywhere?
To help them climb up the political ladder, of course!
14. Why did the politician bring a ladder to the debate?
Because they knew they would need to reach new levels of pandering!
15. Why did the politician study music theory?
To better understand how to conduct themselves in a campaign!
16. What do you call a politician who sleeps all the time?
A political nap-tivist!
17. Why don’t politicians ever learn to juggle?
Because they can’t keep all their promises in the air at once!
18. What’s a politician’s favorite type of math?
“Politrick”!
19. Why did the politician become a baker?
They loved creating half-baked policies!
20. How do politicians greet each other?
With a “partisan shake” and a smile that’s as fake as their promises!